I “bought” a new hip 8 weeks ago. It’s an amazing thing! So I’ve taken some time to sit – limp – heal – and ponder.

I made a few discoveries:

I discovered yet another “dark side” to my heart. At the core of my spiritual journey has been my selfish, relentless pursuit of joy – joy that is bountiful – intense – exultant – and continual (as in “24/7″) – thinking, mistakenly, this was the path to deep inner peace. Sound familiar?

This pursuit has taken many side roads: college degrees – travel around the world – professional success – accumulation of “stuff” – relationships – and a scrapbook full of wonderful journeys and life experiences.

But- Where was the joy?

I’m 64 years old now – and for the most part - feel like the Old Testament sage who also concluded, “Vanity of vanity – it is all vanity.” (Paraphrase mine) I thought all of this was going to lead me to joy!

Why has it taken me 64 years to learn:

1. The self-centered pursuit of “utopian joy” is a crock! Vanity! 

2. Joy is not “24/7.” Most always joy lasts for just a few moments – a few hours – perhaps for a day or two.

3. BUT - joy is possible! Again and again! However – not in the utopian sense. My “bouts of joy” have typically opened up on the far side of sacrifices – sorrows – trials – disappointments – and opportunities lost.

4. This is a surprising discovery! Perhaps this is what C. S. Lewis meant when he wrote his classic, Surprised by Joy.

5. I’ve also learned – much more pleasantly – that lavish generosity leads to my deepest sense of joy – exultant joy – lasting joy. When I have been “wastefully generous” with my time – my talent – my money - I have experienced -every time - deep, deep joy that DOES lead to a deep, deep inner peace.

6. I’ve learned that real generosity is not just giving 10% – it is not “giving until it hurts” – lavish generosity is giving until it’s all gone! Remarkably – slowly – surely – my selfish heart is being transformed by bountiful, free-spirited, exuberant generosity.

Why should I be surprised by this?

May I ask, Where are you on your pilgrimage? What surprises are in your life?

Peace and joy as you are transformed by the grace of giving.

Dick